Stay at Home Mom, Beth Robinson, Snubbed at DNC

When is the Stay At Home Mom coming? And then…here she appeared.

Where Did she GO????

I’m just sayin’….

I literally sat on my couch watching CNN, surviving through Bill Clinton’s speech on “Why I should vote for Obama”, and waited for the “Stay at Home Mom”, Beth Robinson, to speak. She got a Prime Time Spot! Whoo Hoo. Tell it girl!

I thought, “yeah, maybe she’ll sway me…”. So I listened to Bill, which was advertised as 10 minutes and swept to 30 minutes. Bill was a young, Vibrant, and relatable President. He was HUMAN. His speech wasn’t real. It was like he had an agenda and had a guy in a smokey room threatening to cut off his ass posse if he didn’t set it straight. At times, it was hypocritcal. Why would you say that someone other than your wife (who also ran) was the best person for the job rather than saying, “It’s time for the Democratic Party to Unite and get the Republican Policies out of Office” Saying someone else was better for the job…Bullshit. He can’t POSSIBLY believe that? Hillary? She’s put up with his cheating ass for their entire marriage!

Bill ends…I was humored that he went over his allotted time…I was proud. No one puts Billy in the corner…

When is the Stay At Home Mom coming? And then…here she appeared.

Where Did she GO????

CNN: James Carville and Andersen Gloria Vanderbilt Cooper pontificating on Bill’s Speach. Stay at Home Mom begins her speech in the background.

Quick I say, “John, go to FOX!!!”

FOX: Sean Hannity and Karl Rove chumming it up. Mom in the background…

Quick I say, “John, go Back”

He clicks to CSPAN. There she is. Speaking. She kept to her alloted 10 minutes. Nothing earth shattering, but “stay at home mom” had a slot and she was slighted.

Click back to FOX…still going on about “Wonderful Bill I cheated and I got caught and I’m now unifying the party as my wife and daughter grimace at the bullshit I am spewing about supporting Obama Clinton”…Who actually believes this are the same people that believe that having oral sex is not having “sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky”.

Click back to CNN…Gloria Vanderbilt Cooper is listening to Bill’s boy Carville I want to have him for dinner talk about slinging it back with a bunch of hookers on the bayou…(just kidding, but you get my point)…

Kerry approaches the podium…let’s listen to John Kerry…the men stop speaking. I don’t particularly care about John Kerry at this point.

So now, Kerry’s factoid on CNN is that “Kerry endorsed Obama while Edwards was still in the race”. What? Do they just all know that they are whore mongering politicians and it should come as no surprise to us? Kerry…Shame on You. You don’t throw those that supported you until after they lose the race….not while they are running the marathon…

Poor Elizabeth Edwards, you are a dying wife and mother, and make the cover of People magazine because your husband is rumored to have a love child…Poor Elizabeth. If a woman did this, she’s a whore. A man…what? A politician, A business man…the guy that lives in the really big house down the street? Your husband? I’m angry about this one ladies. I seriously can’t look at any man over 40without thinking…party lines set aside.

Fox news: Al Sharpton unites his posse. On FOX? What ignorant Democrat is watching Fox News without knowing that it’s slanted Republican? Ooops..they cut off Al…he’s not on their agenda if you know what I mean….

I’m just sayin’…

And Now we wait for the VP nominee old fart “Joe I Plagerized Biden” to speak and change our lives. Didn’t he lose two other presidential elections? Isn’t he a dude that plagerized and got caught in the 90s? Shoot, in my alma mater, I’d be expelled if I was caught cheating/plagerizing…Once a liar, once a cheater…You is what you is…

I look forward to the day…give me Bobby Jindal and his VP under 50. I’ll put the red dot on my forehead and make phone calls…

Enough with these corrupt old whores what owe somebody. Ladies…this isn’t the election that we’ll change the world, but it’s coming…we just have to be quiet and persistant about it.

They’ll push their media to stop us, but there are more of us than them…lets just find one of us that will get it done. Party lines set aside. I’m neither Nor.

I’m truly undecided.

Contracting A Virus Via Facebook

I finally get a virus…via Facebook.

One of the ways I entertain myself is via the social entity that is Facebook. It’s become a beautiful thing. I periodically and regularly check out my friends from BC (Before Children) and enjoy evening games of Scrabble, Word Challenge, and hysterical pictures from my youth (submitted by a sadistic friend). It’s fun, it’s harmless, and it is entertaining.

Last night, I received an email saying that my girlfriend, Alex, had sent me a video asking, “Is that you making love?”…now, Alex is funny. I thought, that’s weird, but it’s probably some random girl doing something funny to that Strokin’ song that everyone plays at their wedding. Just the week prior, I had shared a video of a girl attempting to Pole Dance and she knocked herself out when she tried to go vertical.

It was quite funny, and I thought, Alex was reciprocating the humor…which in the midst of the monotony which was the olympics, I appreciated.

So I clicked on the video and it said that I needed to download the latest version of Flash, and NOT THINKING and distracted by Shawn Johnson’s shortness of 4’9″ tall, I quickly clicked the video and it downloaded the codesecsomethingorother.exe file onto my computer. It was at this point that I thought, no, something’s not right here, and clicked out of the page and went back to Facebook and clicked over to my Word Challenge game to see what new score I could achieve and my 8 year old was sitting next to me ready to get started.

Then…I got popped out. I thought, hmmmm….so I logged back in, and I got a message from facebook saying that my account has been suspended by an administrator and that was that. What had I done? Well, the deal is, according to my googling research, it was a virus that attacked my friends list and Facebook had done what they needed to do…

My question is…will my account ever be reactivated in tact? I cringe at the thought that my pictures are lost, my contacts lost…my high scores are lost.

Dear Jesus that knows someone at Facebook…please have them fix this so that I’m back soon. I got an email from a girlfriend…who has the exclusive on poking me multiple times daily…wondering why I was no longer on Facebook. It’s going to be a real pain in the bootie to recreate myself, not to mention the months I’ve spent doing hits on MobWars.

No Tresspassing…This means you, behind the fence that is screwed into the tree.

The “No Trespassing” signs he’s had customized out of cabinet doors. 

So This shit continues, and I am now to the point where it’s ridiculous.

I’m powerless beyond my own plantings. I live in a Deed Restricted community, and he doesn’t. I guess my lesson is buyer beware. I would have never purchased this house had I thought that this would be my neighbor.

Today’s addition to the fence was the creation of No Trespassing Signs…I guess Mohammad doesn’t say the Apostle’s Creed. “As we forgive those that trespass against us…”

The signs are literally right after the hidious fence. He’s tied a piece of rope around the gate to the unplayable tennis court and bought a new plastic “Keep Out” sign to be in my line of sight as well. The “No Trespassing” signs he’s had customized out of cabinet doors. They’ve got an antiqued pine finish and are standing about 4 feet out of the ground. How much of a freaking retard is this guy? You’d think that if you screwed a crappy fence into a tree that it would pretty much suggest to the people that live on the other side of the fence that you’d like them to keep out? Truth is, we don’t go into the yard. We USED to have an 8 foot high privacy fence to block out the fact that his property was in bad shape. He had us take that down so that he could install a crappy fence that he owned in the exact location, and then added the No Trespassing Signs to compliment the fact that he’s a prick. A prick named Mohammad.

Today is a holy day of obligation (I missed) and I’m praying to Mother Mary to take this prick out. Violently. Certainly his actions are not producing good Karma? I mean, why now? Why after 10 years of owning a piece of property does one show that he’s an asshole? Why not before? We cooperated with him. And this is the punishment? Why does someone do this?

And lead us not into temptation, but protect us from evil. I want the evil bastard to die. Forgive me Father….

My mother called Mohammad White Trash, but I told her that was a racially incorrect reference

His wife, Mrs. Mohammad walked obediently behind him…10 paces behind with her eyes to the ground.

This is our fence…prior to the story

Let me just start by saying, I really don’t care who you pray to. But here’s the stuff on my obnoxious neighbor, Mohammad Vas(and then I’ll spell the rest of his name later after I take a big sIGH.

Back in 2007, we purchased our home…with an 8 foot high professionally installed fence in the back yard. Based on the posts that we cast in concrete, it had been there in some shape or form since 1995 when the house was first built. In May, the night before we were to leave for Daufuskie, I hear noise coming from behind the fence. It’s a strange noise, like someone was walking back there. Now, there is an abandoned home that is totally overgrown with weeds and the 3.5 acres of land are overgrown as well. There is also a tennis court, which has trees growing out of the cracks and no net. Frankly, it’s a mess. And, an eyesore. My research had told me that the house was purchased by Mohammad Va(deep sigh) in 1998 for $700,000. I got up from my new patio furniture and carried myself and my glass of red wine over to the back yard to see what was going on. There he was…big bug eyes, a small olive skinned man, about 5 foot 4, and his wife, walking obediently 10 paces behind (and I’m not joking…)

I introduced myself and reached out my hand to shake his. He did not reciprocate. Instead he said quite sternly, “Dis Fence is coming down!”

To which I replied, “Excuse me?”

Again, he stated in his accent, which based on linquistics and his demure obedient wife (with her eyes looking to the ground, still 10 paces behind) was of the Middle Eastern dialect, “Dis fence is gone! How long it beeeeen here?”

To which I replied, “I believe about 14 years.”

I again introduced myself, said it was SOOO nice to meet him, and the little man turned his back on me and stormed up his property into the weeds. His wife, Mrs. Mohammad walked obediently behind him…10 paces behind with her eyes to the ground.

This is America! 

I went to get John and told him the situation that was going on in the back yard. He too went to the back and peeped over the fence and little Va(long sigh) was gone. We left for Daufuskie and our summer travels the next day.

Upon our return in August, we receive a certified letter from an attorney saying that we’d be sued unless we removed the fence which according to the survey was EIGHT INCHES on his property. That’s bigger than, well….I don’t need to say.

Back and forth we went with the attorney. We agreed to take down the fence, but wanted to know what he intended to put in it’s place. On Friday, the night before the fence came down Mr. Va(long Sigh’s) attorney, Creepy Calhoun, let us know that Mr. Vasign would put up another fence that looked like our fence, or landscaping, or whatever we wanted in it’s place. John immediately called him back and said, “we’d appreciate the landscaping, like Leyland Cypress or American Holly please.”

Saturday the fence came down.

Sunday little man showed up to review our work.

Monday….This was installed.

They screwed the sections into our tree!

Look at this shit.

They didn’t even cleanup the posts!

Notice the craftsmanship. The detail.

It’s not over.

The Suburban Martyr is PISSED.