Twitter: Listed to one of my friends complain about the change purse she went home with as a gift after Bunco. Kept my mouth shut – the gift was from me!
This is EXACTLY why I don’t tell anyone about this blog, and the fact that I’m the wizard behind it. Now, remember when I mentioned going to bunco, and then leaving early to go home and sit on the couch with John and the kids? Well, I forgot to mention my “gift closet” and the fact that I was supposed to bring a gift to Bunco. When the girls called me 10 minutes before I was supposed to be there, I just splashed some water on my face, grabbed a gift from the closet, and took 3 dollars out of John’s wallet.
Well, I did bring a gift to Bunco, it just happened to be a small change purse that I bought years ago for my nanny, “Erica”, but then she went MIA and I still had the freaking change purse. I don’t know why I grabbed that gift, instead of grabbing the “plug it in and electrocute yourself bathtub spa” that my parents gave me ten years ago as a Christmas present that never came out of the box, or the massager/vibrator that I think they also gave me the same year, but I was thinking that I didn’t want to make a splash with my gift, so I just grabbed the cute beaded purse with an “E” on it and threw it in the gift bag and headed out the door. I figured that I would just trade it with someone else and bring it back home.
So, I get to Bunco, realize that I’m not medicated enough to survive an evening with strange women drinking wine, and then escape home to the couch. The next Monday, I had signed up to attend a women’s club event with the same group of women, and caught a ride with one of my new, loud, tall friends. Things were going well, I thought….I still was having major anxiety issues, but they had Champagne, and so four glasses into the event, I felt that I would survive the event. Plus, I wasn’t driving, so I couldn’t leave.
On the ride home, the usual topics of conversation ensue. Boobs, plastic surgery, and pecking order of the women at the event…then Susan says, “Oh My God! I was SOOOO angry! I know that Moo Moo Lady (her name isn’t moo moo lady, but she always wears a moo moo, and since I never remember her name, she lives two doors down from me, I call her Moo Moo Lady) brought that horrific change purse to Bunco! I think that we need to really put some rules in place regarding gifts! I mean, I’m putting a lot of effort into my gifts!” I was partially listening, and then I had a memory that OMG, that change purse was the one that I brought! Holy Shit.
It was so hard not to say it was me. I bit my shirt and tried not to laugh, but she was pissed. I sat there quietly, hoping that they wouldn’t ask me what I brought, because it was the E purse. I looked straight ahead and thought, the vibrator would have probably gone over better….