My pending fake pregnancy

She Pats my Belly and gives me a waist squeeze and then said, “You’re Lying!”

I’m not pregnant let’s just get that cleared and out of the way. But, again, I have been accused of being pregnant…by my mother in law. Again, I self insult to forgive a woman who is also carrying a bit of “baggage”. I swear that I’m not, and then she does what one should never do…SHE PATS MY BELLY AND GIVES ME A WAIST SQUEEZE and said “you’re lying!”

I about died.

It’s the dress. My new style of comfort running the streets of New Orleans on the family vacation is empire waist dresses… throw over your head, zipperless dresses. I mean…It’s New Orleans and all you are can do here is eat, and drink. I wanted to be sure to pack that which would go from day into night and give me a little breathing room for the planned order of bread pudding….

Meanwhile, she tells me how wonderful John looks and that he almost looks too thin.

I’m at a total loss for my weight. Because of the ridiculous “detox” algea regimen that we have purchased, I no longer am drinking Diet Coke and get my fizz fix with Miller Lite. Then, it’s the summer…so bottles of red wine on the back porch are not out of the question and are actually anticipated….frequently.

So, self reflection here…I probably need to do a few more (adding from NONE) sit ups, maybe show up at yoga more than once a quarter, oh, yeah, and probably cut back on the six pack… but it’s summer and it’s too hot to work out and I’m extremely dehydrated from the algea pills.

Beer in the corner grocery is cheaper than water, and the gas prices are at the all time high. A mom’s gotta cut corners somewhere.

Agree?

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