Survival While Vacationing with A Rat

My nanny has gone MIA.  I’m a smart girl.  I know she quit.

Our vacations now, and for the next three years consist of including a big eared rat and his girlfriend. We’ve got our annual passes, and it’s the only place we can take the kids that doesn’t involve screaming. There is a new show out in the states, called “Desperate Housewives”. It’s the new Sex and the City, but this time the women are married. They will eventually get it to London I’m sure, and when you finally get to see it, I’m the chick with all the kids…Oi veh. My freaking nanny has gone MIA, and I know she isn’t in Asia, since she worked for me on New Year’s, but she’s gone missing, and she’s not returning my phone calls. I’m a smart girl, she quit. I have a hair appointment tomorrow, and unless my mother gets back from New Orleans and agrees to watch three of them, my roots are going to show until I can sucker someone else into watching them. Having beautiful hair is very expensive, especially when you have the pay someone $50 just so you can get your hair dyed.

So, we’re gearing up to send Jack to Kindergarten next fall, we’ve decided against sending him to “public” school (free), and so now are going to send him to a private school (where Willy Wonka meets education) and it’s going to be a mere 8K! For Kindergarten!!!!! Fuck, So, I guess the nanny quitting covers this ridiculous expense and I can keep the maid. I want to fire her too, but her son has all of these medical issues. It would shatter her, so she comes every week, even though I’m neurotic and my house is already clean and sanitized by the time she gets here. I think she just moves things around on my dresser, she’s upstairs for 4 hours, and I swear my house looks like a model home by the time she enters the building.

Laundry is another story, it’s coming out my eyeballs, but she doesn’t do the laundry because she ruins things (I prefer to ruin my things myself), so there you go. I don’t know what she’s doing…

There is a light at the end of my tunnel this month, and I’m in a more optimistic mood. Mignonne is nearly 11 months old and I’m getting it under control now.

I fired the maid, and gave the nanny more hours! It’s quite an accomplishment, especially with the three kids out of my hair and playing outside I can get a lot done around the house.

We’ve had quite a busy first part of 2005, Jack is having playdates with friends that I don’t have to chaperone, Ashton is self sufficient in the bathroom, and Mignonne knows how to crawl, although due to her size, she’s more like a seal in her movements.

We’ve been to DISNEY A LOT! My annual passes guarantee that we have a day where EVERYONE is happy. It’s an hour and fifteen minutes door to door, so going for a weekend isn’t out of the question. Jack and Ashton both recite the play by play of what rides we’ll go on and parks we’ll visit in order, and then it’s mandatory that we stick to the schedule. We’ve discovered that they serve BEER at MGM, so R and I immediately head to the beer stand and then gladly sit in a playground area while the boys knock their socks off. It sounds stressful, but with three kids 4 and under, it turns out to be an enjoyable day/weekend. We’ve been going once a month over the weekend.We’re having excellent weather, so the kids spend the better part of the day playing in the yard, or on the driveway riding their bikes. Mignonne keeps right up with them, and is probably going to be a great social butterfly by the time this phase is over.

Jack has taken a keen interest in Tennis (thank goodness), and I’ve bought both of the boys racquets and we practice in the driveway. I feed them balls and they swing! We’ve hit the dog, the car, the house, and “almost” cars going by…I have great hopes and thanks that the soccer career is OVER. Once we have basic form, we’ll progress to the courts, but for now, it’s manageable, and I don’t want to produce “burnout”.

That’s it for Suburban Martyr’s update. The minivan is leaking oil, and I swear I will never buy another Chrysler again. I’m counting the months until I can donate the bugger to the Salvation Army! It’s a 3 year old WORTHLESS hunk of crap with 24K miles. I’m hoping once it’s paid off we can bring it to one of those places that GUARANTEES 6K in your trade, no matter the condition. Maybe someone will steal it, but we don’t live in that type of neighborhood.

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